“You can’t get there from not here.” If we venture forth in the world with an inaccurate understanding of present reality, we will constantly be met with failure and frustration.  This leads to disengagement.

We sometimes deny the present reality because we don’t want to deal with it. Other times we tell ourselves lies or half-truths to feel better about it. There are also truths that we just don’t know.

Is also important to understand what is motivating us and/or driving  in the present reality.  Being motivated by Protection creates engagement, but not in a positive way.  The Robot drives behavior, but behaviors that we are not engaged in.

This is a good place to use the be Unbiased and Collaborative objectives.

We create tangible things and intangible experiences. Both are engaging in different ways.

Tangible things are WHAT you are going to create. These are often expressed as goals. Goals are only engaging until you reach them. Goals without an intangible experience attached to them are less effective.

Intangible experiences are WHY you are creating. This could be wanting to feel better about yourself, make a difference for others, feel a sense of achievement, or create a better world.

It helps to understand the difference between pleasures and gratifications:

• Pleasures are about engaging the senses and feeling emotions. They are short lived but easier to experience: eating, watching a movie, scrolling on social media.
• Gratifications are the result of higher needs, like our cognitive needs, aesthetic needs, or self-actualization. These are long-term pursuits and are not always pleasurable in the moment. We feel we bring our whole self to the activity, like parenting, art, or sports.
• The VIA Character Strengths Survey is a good place to begin better understanding what you find gratifying.

If you derive your pleasure from spending, then you can’t save. If you derive your pleasure from saving, then you can’t spend.

Happiness = Reality - Expectations is a helpful formula to keep in mind when deciding what you want to create.

There are four categories of engagement/payoff:

Bad Now / Bad Later: This engagement should be avoided.  This can be bad habits, or actions driven by despair and apathy.

Good Now / Bad Later: In moderation this type of payoff can be fine, and can look like splurging on something you want to buy, or eating something unhealthy. We don’t have to be perfect all the time to create a good life, but this engagement is also not a good source of meaningful engagement.

Bad Now / Good Later: This is when we endure something we don’t want to do in the present, in order to get a payoff down the road.  This is the most common type of motivation used. This looks like completing an exercise routine we don’t like, for the benefit of a healthy life.

Good Now / Good Later: This is the ideal motivator, but can be harder to find. It’s doing something you enjoy that brings a payoff later, like people who enjoy exercise or love their job.

Develop a concrete plan that has the ability to flex and adjust as challenges are met.

We are most engaged with a challenge that feels 4% greater than our abilities.