Creation is the Drive to bring what you value into the world.

Protection is the Drive to restore or defend what you value.

We are triggered when we perceive danger and our ability to create is blocked or restricted.

Being Resilient is about being triggered less and spending less time there when you are.

Being triggered is how we put other people in charge of our lives.

Thought Processes

“Am I triggered?” doesn’t work because it's hard to see it when it happens. When triggered our first internal dialogue is usually outward and blaming whatever it is that triggered us. We feel disrespected, ignored, attacked, or criticized, and the source of that becomes our focus.

The first step toward resiliency is to be in charge of your internal experience of life and not give that control away to other people or things.

So the first question to ask is, “Is this personal?” When triggered, this is an easier question to answer. It feels personal because we don’t feel safe somehow. Getting un-triggered then is about feeling safe again, or simply recognizing that this is not personal.

Unless of course, you are in danger. We usually are not, so the path is to recognize that. If you are in danger, that has to be addressed as well.

There are different degrees of being triggered. The more triggered we are, the harder it is to fix and the more self-focused we become.

  • Level 1: I WANT to fix this, and I’m focused on you.
  • Level 2: I NEED to fix this, I’m done with you, I only card about what triggered me.
  • Level 3: I’m DESPERATE to fix this, and I only care about me.

This is the best question to uncover what is causing you to feel unsafe. If we feel completely safe, we are not triggered.

So what is the real source of the threat?

We have different approaches to threat hardwired into our brains. Fight, Flight, or Freeze are common ways to understand this, but they happen at Level 3 and which one we use can vary by person and the situation.

Ask yourself which of these you feel you need right now and have that be the basis of your approach. You may need to ask for help from those around you.

  • Calm Down – Things got out of control, and I want to lower the energy.
  • Speed Up – We’re not doing enough to take this seriously.
  • Figure Out – I don’t understand this enough, I want to slow down and not be emotional.

We can prevent getting triggered by practicing or building skills in the following areas:

  • Rest and exercise. A healthy, rested brain works better.
  • Mindfulness/Self-Awareness – Be an observer of you.
  • be Unbiased, Engaged, and Collaborative. Each of the four objectives support the others.

We have conditioning built into the Robot that can cause us to trigger more easily. Each of these conditions your thinking so you don’t get triggered in the first place.

  • Understand fear – there is no bear.
  • Don’t take anything personally.
  • Do a Safety assessment.
  • Have a plan.

When triggered our focus narrows to the source of the trigger. Remember the three levels and notice what they are paying attention to:

  • Level 1: I WANT to fix this, and I’m focused on you.
  • Level 2: I NEED to fix this, I’m done with you, I only card about what triggered me.
  • Level 3: I’m DESPERATE to fix this, and I only care about me.

They may not directly ask for these, but you can sometimes see them:

  • Calm Down – Withdrawn or Uncomfortable
  • Speed Up – Amped Up or Urgent
  • Figure Out – Distant or Interrogating

Spot the energy and match it. Their brain is telling them this is the path to safety. Help them down that path

  • Calm Down: Calm down with them, don’t tell them to calm down.
  • Speed Up: Increase and point your energy towards a solution, not the person.
  • Figure Out: Slow down, don’t be emotional, objectively assess the situation.